祖父の命日の日、たまたま非番だったので、母と墓参。
その後、一緒に昼食を食べたのだけど・・・
「あってほしくない!」と願いつつ、想定はしていた お小言タイム。
言いつけ通りにしても、また 
新たなお小言 を言われたりする。
たとえ当人不本意でも、私の母的ポジションの【お小言屋さん】て 必要なんじゃないか・・・て思う。
ホントはしたかったことを泣く泣くあきらめた際の「母を悲しませないために」の大義名分が 長い目で見たリスク回避やリスク軽減になったことが、思い当たるだけでも10回はある。

好きにはなれずとも 必要な人


--- 母だけじゃない。祖父に対しても、こんな気持ち持ってたな・・・


・‥…━━━☆・‥…━━━☆ ・‥…━━━☆・‥…━━━☆

Yesterday was my grandfather's memorial day.

My mother and I visited the cemetery together since I had no lessons.
After we served flowers and incense, we had lunch at a cheap restaurant nearby.

Honestly, our luncheon went on in a bit tense atmosphere.
During our lunch time, my mother told me cynically to save more money.
 
A restaurant coupon app on my iPhone might annoy her.
My family member's smartphone use seems too luxurious to her.
Actually, she never uses the Internet on her feature phone and hardly sends emails.
Spending as little as possible is kind of "absolute justice" in my family, which always terrifies me and my children.

Mother looks like an empress in my family sometimes.
My children ironically say, "Grandma is super fine today, isn't she?"
It's last year that I learned to let it slide when she became controlling to us.
I've found "the third place between work and home" to relax and face my true feelings.


★ 音が出ます(PC、タブレット、スマートフォンに対応しています)